Haven't been on lately, I don't think I will be on much in the future either.
It really sucks since I love this website but I've been dealing with intense suicidal urges and I doubt that will be changing either.
I just want to sleep forever.
It's been a bit guys just thought I'd update you.
I'm in school for an associate degree in the IT field.
Mainly I'll be fixing and building computers.
Of course My first day was for math and learning Ohm's law, which looks simple enough yet I have absolutely no fucking idea how to do math anymore.
then my second day, yesterday, the other class I was in I felt more confident in.
It's a networking class
In other new my typical depression is flailing around like none other.
One day I'm fine the next I'm thinking about death.
I've come to realize that for the last three or so years I've been living in the Hell that is the existential crisis.
I know that that's whats holding me back, I have no faith, I see no answers, and I am totally unsure of my future.
I'll figure this out sooner than later, but to be honest I have no idea how I would go about fixing this problem.
Other than that nothing is really new.
Also I'm gonna try posting in the BBS more, as of now I make like two posts a week.
I'd like to get back in the NG rythm.
Oh man guys tonight was awful.
Normally I get through working with no problem but tonight reminded me why I usually don't do Friday Night Shifts.
So I got into work, I was scheduled to work at three.
At this point I had had only four and a half hours of sleep, so I drank some Monster and had another one to get me through this shift.
The manager told me to wait to clock in.
This might not seem like much but I hate going all the way to work only to sit and wait thirty minutes doing nothing and not getting paid for it.
So this was a miniscule problem I didn't care too much.
When I finally clocked I got started on the prep that the manager was not able to finish.
Not many orders were coming in at that time, so it was relatively easy.
So then the secondary cook arrived about two hours later.
He's a cool guy most the time, but he's new so he's a bit slow still.
Almost like it was on cue when he clocked in shit hit the fan.
We're getting tons of orders popping up, simultanous calls.
That's not all as if by some asshole joke an auditor came into the store.
We're busy and since the other guy and I haven't been trained on calls yet the only other person there who can take calls is the manager I have to go to her station. (cut table)
I'm relatively new to cut table and have had minimal training on it.
I can still do it when it's slow, but when I have people watching me i get nervous and do stupid stuff.
The auditor had hawk eyes on me like a heroin addict when they spot a syringe.
So I'm nervous as balls but I did fine.
So after the first rush I was put on make table, I'm slowing down since I'm getting drowsy from lack of sleep.
That's not good since friday is the busiest day of the week for us.
I quickly gulped down some Monster in hopes it will revitalize me.
I'm feeling sick from too much sugar because my dumb ass didn't eat anything before my shift.
Go back to work, about two small rushes hit.
Right as the closing cook clocks in, the customers rammed there pulsating cocks in our asses with a bombardment of orders.
The closing cook is sometimes a dick and a superb minimalist.
Holy shit, we fall behind.
Not only that but we start running out of ready dough because someone didn't fucking prep last night.
Low and behold it was the closing cook.
So I'm trying to get shit done and the other cooks are fucking around.
Closing guy making fun of the way I talk, and other stupid shit.
I'm trying to keep up myself but we're getting overloaded.
Closing guy laughing at the fact that I take my job somewhat serously.
Then the manager walks over and bitches all of us out for not working fast enough.
Well I'm fucking trying I can't fucking help it because I say italian sausage weird somehow.
This is when I go into shut up and work.
about half an hour later the rush ends...
So damn tired and livid, I have an angry expression plastered to my face.
Finally after twenty minutes of busywork the manager says I can go home.
I immediatly clock out and walk straight through the door.
I was fucking done.
I'm into some pretty fucked up fetishes guy, like this.
Hello Newgrounds family
I've decided to take a creative writing class, as I don't think my writing style is on par with anyone here really.
It's a free class but it's supported through my local library so, that means it's good right?
Anyway I have posted tidbits of my writing here with very little feedback...
Er, hmm, hopefully if my writing improves and I post it here I'll get more feedback.
Also I might take an art class cause I wanna learn the basics so I can eventually draw some acceptable manga.
Hey, maybe I can make my own manga series incorperating my writing?
So all in all I think I'm making at least a little progress so I can get out of the outhouse that is my life.
As per usual heres a ASFR pictured.
She owned my dick when I was young.
Now she'll be my trophy
So it's come to my attention that my old best friend's girlfriend has been talking shit about me and spreading rumours.
Now I'm losing people I care about are leaving me because of her.
Apparently Tony (my old best friend) mad and thinks I'm liberal because I'm anti big government.
Yeah, you read that right, makes a whole lot of sense.
Man people are fucking dumb.
Yeah so transformation fetish.
I sure am weird.
Lol Rosalina is peeing.
I really REALLY hate Winter.
This time of year my emotions go totally out of whack.
It's really tough on me and yet every year this happens.
My home life has become increasingly volitile and I can't really leave since my job won't support me and I'm deathly afraid of driving.
It started several years ago when I got hit by a bus.
A fucking school bus.
I tried to drive several times and attempted to get a license bot failed each time.
Since then my anxiety has increased to the point where I don't even like being in a vehicle.
Pretty pathetic I know...
Anyway now for some positive stuff.
I love my job at Pizza Hut and the majority of the people there are really cool and nice.
This is the first time I had a job where I'm one of the guys, not the creepy guy.
Once the next semester starts the college guys there want me to hang with them at Buffalo Wild Wings Thursday nights, which is really cool cause I feel that I can develope friendships which is exteremely difficult for me.
So yeah I might have a new group of people to hang with since I was basically tossed aside by my old friends.
Basically this time of year is hard for me but maybe it won't be as bad as usual this year.
Thanks for listening.
Peace out bros.
So I guess havingno friends isn't that bad.
For one thing I don't have to go out to the bar three times a week.
I don't like drinking so thats fine.
In other life news, I'm saving up to go to college so I can get a degree in one of the many IT fields.
I'm not sure on a definitive one yet.
Now that I work at pizza hut more I can actually have some spending on stuff I want.
Anyway I plan on doing my first fanfic andit will be on Xenoblade Chronicles X, it's called "Xenoblade Chronicles Unite"
Of course I have to play the game a little before I start writing it.
I am SO EXCITED FOR THIS GAME!
It's the main reason I got a Wii U.
Also not enough sex stuff on my blog lately so heres something new.
Tump tumptump, indeed
I have literally lost everyone of my friends. Tonight my last friend told me to no longer talk to her. She was the last friend I had. I feel like I'm being kicked when I'm already down. This came with no warning. out of the blue she said, "stop talking to me" I'm cut deep. It's been real damn hard and this just kills me more. I can't take this I don't know how to deal with this. I don't want to keep going it's too hard. I just want to disappear.
Sorry to alarm any of you with my previous post. I got a lot of people responding me to help me. Even @TomFulp messaged me. After talking with many people and my doctor we got me back to normal well asnormal as I get lol. Thank you all for being here for me. This site is truly my favourite and the people here are awesome. Thank you all. You guys have a great day.