I really REALLY hate Winter.
This time of year my emotions go totally out of whack.
It's really tough on me and yet every year this happens.
My home life has become increasingly volitile and I can't really leave since my job won't support me and I'm deathly afraid of driving.
It started several years ago when I got hit by a bus.
A fucking school bus.
I tried to drive several times and attempted to get a license bot failed each time.
Since then my anxiety has increased to the point where I don't even like being in a vehicle.
Pretty pathetic I know...
Anyway now for some positive stuff.
I love my job at Pizza Hut and the majority of the people there are really cool and nice.
This is the first time I had a job where I'm one of the guys, not the creepy guy.
Once the next semester starts the college guys there want me to hang with them at Buffalo Wild Wings Thursday nights, which is really cool cause I feel that I can develope friendships which is exteremely difficult for me.
So yeah I might have a new group of people to hang with since I was basically tossed aside by my old friends.
Basically this time of year is hard for me but maybe it won't be as bad as usual this year.
Thanks for listening.
Peace out bros.
So I guess havingno friends isn't that bad.
For one thing I don't have to go out to the bar three times a week.
I don't like drinking so thats fine.
In other life news, I'm saving up to go to college so I can get a degree in one of the many IT fields.
I'm not sure on a definitive one yet.
Now that I work at pizza hut more I can actually have some spending on stuff I want.
Anyway I plan on doing my first fanfic andit will be on Xenoblade Chronicles X, it's called "Xenoblade Chronicles Unite"
Of course I have to play the game a little before I start writing it.
I am SO EXCITED FOR THIS GAME!
It's the main reason I got a Wii U.
Also not enough sex stuff on my blog lately so heres something new.
Tump tumptump, indeed
I have literally lost everyone of my friends. Tonight my last friend told me to no longer talk to her. She was the last friend I had. I feel like I'm being kicked when I'm already down. This came with no warning. out of the blue she said, "stop talking to me" I'm cut deep. It's been real damn hard and this just kills me more. I can't take this I don't know how to deal with this. I don't want to keep going it's too hard. I just want to disappear.
Sorry to alarm any of you with my previous post. I got a lot of people responding me to help me. Even @TomFulp messaged me. After talking with many people and my doctor we got me back to normal well asnormal as I get lol. Thank you all for being here for me. This site is truly my favourite and the people here are awesome. Thank you all. You guys have a great day.
this is probably going to my last entry on this site.
I've been going through some stuff in real life. I'm not well in any sense. I have not been well for a while now but I have had the will to keep fight for a false hope that maybe I could find somesort of happiness or even to merely just fit in but it's gone now I cannot fight anymore I'm to tired and weak I'm broken. I'm sorry for those of you that care. I intend on ending my life in the next coming days. maybe by some miracle of God it won't happen but that's up to the forces that be.
I guess this is goodbye.
Love you guys.
I'll be seeing you in the next life.
My depression is getting the best of me.
Moved my Wii U up to my bedroom.
Reorganized my room to make it feel more "me."
Got a desk for my laptop.
Don't feel like talking to people in the real world.
I'm getting fat due too lack of activity and bad diet.
It's really hard to diet when I have no job cause I eat when I am bored.
My closest friends are possing me off.
I don't feel like talking much to people anymore.
Getting sick of the same old shit.
I'm so tired....
So I've been working on a fight scene the last two days.
It is incomplete but I suppose I should share it with you.
It has to do with two of my main OCs.
The typical Sephy alonf with his brother.
Corey is actually based on my brother Cory.
I gave him a personality similar to that of his real personality added a little of Zant-like speech (The legend of Zelda: Twilght princess.)
The ASFR picture is after the story...
“You brought this on yourself, Sephy. It was always about you. Mom and dad adopted you. What did they do then? They completely ignored me. Always dealing with your damn problems. I had problems too! I got beat up daily in highschool. I started doing drugs!! Then after all the love they gave you… You killed them. Out of a goddamn temper tantrum. They’re dead now… Where’s the justice? You walk a free man while my life fell apart. I spiraled down into a depression that I will never leave. The only way to possibly get out of this is bring you to justice you goddamn monster.” Corey yelled. “Do you remember… Do you remember what the fuck you did to me? When you killed mom and dad? You fucking tore off my face. Now I have to wear a damn mask so I don’t scare people. I know you fucking thing you’re on a mission from God but all you are doing is running. Running away like the coward you are.”
“Corey, you know damn we—,“ Sephy said
“Don’t even start that bullshit. ‘I can’t control it,’ ‘help me,’ ‘I’m so sad,’ get the fuck over it.” Corey shouted. “You’re not the center of the universe.”
“I’m sorry I didn—“ Sephy was cut off once again.
“You’re not sorry… You don’t care about anything other than your ambitions. I can’t let you hurt more people I just can’t.” Corey said with his voice getting lower, “If no one else can get rid of you… then I have to. I’m not sorry. Are you ready brother? Are you ready to burn in the pits of Hell?!” Corey’s voice escalated to a high tone, an almost psychopathic screech.
Corey firmly grasped the great sword he had sheathed on his back. The blade was seven feet long with the word “MARTYR” glowing and resonating in a deep purple. Each letter pulsating as if the blade itself flowed with it’s own Stream energies. He lifted his heavy blade easily with his right hand and pointed the tip of it at Sephy.
“This is where the madness ENDS!!!!!!!” Corey screeched at ear piercing levels.
Corey swung the MARTYR back and charged at Sephy at a break neck speed. He lined up a strike to cut straight through Sephy’s waist. As Corey barreled at him, Sephy summoned the Benevolence just in time to clash blades. The MARTYR struck the Benevolence so hard that it literally shattered Benevolence like glass. The MARTYR then sliced deep into Sephy’s waist. Corey pulled back his massive sword over his head and with a maddening force, as before Sephy summoned the Malevolence right as the MARTYR bore down unto him. The amazing force of the MARTYR annihilated the Malevolence. Sephy was just able to dodge his head out of the way of the wrath of the MARTYR. This said, he was not unharmed. The blade easily cut straight through his right arm severing it completely.
“HA HA HA HA HA” Corey cawed like a high pitched bird. “This is it? Is this all you have?! Where’s the power?!”
“I will not kill you… However if needs a must, I will disable you.” Sephy said.
“Ha, now you play the modest card. Remember back when we were kids? You always were such a glory hog.” Corey shrieked. “I’ve already blew up your special weapons and cut off your arm. And I’ll cut off all your shadow arms too.”
“Heh, have you forgotten? I can regenerate myself easily. I won’t need shadow limb to fight you.” Sephy said.
“Grr, cheap tricks. That’s what you are. Nothing but a trick.” Corey responded with his voice pitch lowering to that of an average male’s level.
Sephy’s severed are evaporated and his wounds healed leaving no evidence that anything had happened.
“Even if your body can recover you have no weapons to fight me with.” Corey boasted triumphantly.
“My weapons are one with my body… They recover as I do.” Sephy said.
In a flash Sephy summoned both swords and made a mad dash at Corey. He jumped into the air and swung a flurry of slashes at Corey. Corey however, easily maneuvered the MARTYR in front of Sephy.
CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG!!!
Each strike was absolutely a lesson in futility. Sephy reversed his motion and moved backwards. Corey took advantage of this jumping at Sephy Slashing at Sephy striking Sephy’s chest. The attack sliced Sephy’s ribs. Corey then maneuvered to strike down Sephy.
“THIS IS IT!! THIS IS WHERE YOU DIE!!!” Corey screeched in his high pitch voiced returning.
The MARTYR shot down at Sephy.
“I can’t die… I can never die…” Sephy’s words echoed in Corey’s head.
The blade stopped mere millimeters from Sephy’s head.
“What are you…?” Corey asked.
“What do you think I am?” Sephy asked.
“All I see is a monster.” Corey responded
“I am what you see… I am a monster.” Sephy said as he slowly put his on the sharp knife-edge of the MARTYR. He pressed his pointer finger against the blade and slid it down slicing the tip of his finger in half.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Corey said.
“As you said brother… I’M A GODDAMN MONSTER!” Sephy burst out.
Sephy Swiftly tossed his foot into Corey abdomen, throwing Corey back a few feet as well as causing him to drop the MARTYR. Sephy kicked away the Sword and walked up to Corey. Corey lunged at Sephy unleashing a powerful punch square in Sephy’s nose. Sephy’s glasses shattered revealing Sephy’s eyes.
“So those are your eyes now. So dim, so sad, so pathetic.” Corey sneered.
“What can I say? Story of my life!” Sephy yelled bounding at Corey.
Sephy punched Corey across the face, to which Corey responded by roundhouse kicking Sephy’s face
So every so often when I don't take my medications and I have some pretty interesting dreams so here it goes.
Be aware that I'm putting this together so it makes sense.
I am in a paranormal recon group that has been dispatched to a secluded hospital with Tony.
Before entering the hospital we were briefed on the situation, Tony turned to me and said, "Nothing new here just gotta kill them all."
So right from the start I know that in the dream I had been in the recon group for at least awhile and this was not an isolated incident.
We entered the hospital in two groups of six.
Me and Tony's group moved into one of the patient rooms.
In this hospital the patient rooms were only seperated by movable walls, so essentailly it is a long hallway with beds along the wall.
Shortly after we entered the room we made contact with our targets.
Out of the floor these horridly skinny thin boned tall humanoid type things morphed out of the floor.
They didnt like break through the floor they weren't zombies I want to make that clear.
One thing I remember is that these things had big bald heads not as big as those of the stereotypical "Grey" alien.
The still had very human faces just with sunken eye.
Now that I think of it (And I don't mean this to offend anyone by this.)
They looked a shit load like World War II concentration camp prisoners except these things were lively like there bodies were designed like that.
As soon as they started rising we opened fire on them, they bled...
One of my fellow soldiers said we got Whites.
So now we know what the things were call "Whites"
Since they rose out of the ground somewhat slowly we were able to eliminate most threats but the ones that made it out were trouble.
Not only were the quick but the were powerful when they opened their mouths they let out high pitched screams.
I remember one of the white grabbed one of the recons but before it could really do anything we killed it.
After Whites die they turned to dust.
After the confrontation was over me and Tony moved ahead to the door at the end of the room.
thats when we heard more of the high pitched screams.
The rest of the group that were at the entrance engaged more Whites, but this time we weren't so lucky.
I remember seeing one of my fellow recon troops get his arm torn off the White then bit it's teeth into his neck.
It was clear they were outnumbered, Tony turned to me.
We scrambled, broke through the door and ran hearing yelling and gunshots from behind. We ran down the halls, there were no Whites we were aware of.
Eventually we got to one of the exits.
We rushed out of the door and caught our breathes.
We knew we needed to meet up with the other group, our communications were dead.
Tony asked me.
That's when I saw her.
She was different from the other Whites.
She was Shorter and had a huge circle on the front of her head it was red similar to inflamed skin.
It didn't make sense cause Whites bleed white.
Luckily she wasn't aware of us yet.
I told Tony to stay back and I crept up behind her.
I brandished my knife leapt at her and drove my knife into the back of her neck.
Well I would have but as soon as my knife made contact with her skin it vanished.
The White grabbed me and threw me back.
Tony opened fire on it but the bullets would disappear right when they should have hit.
That's when I woke up I fidgeted got up went to the kitchen drank some water came back and eventually passed out again.
I then was at an airport from what was told to me by people at the airport was, that it was five years later and the world had gone to Hell. The airport was a safe have that was protected for the most part.
I figured out that every other member of my recon group was dead and that Tony was never found.
I wanted to believe he was alive but I knew better.
Then to my surprise one of the civilians said,
"Why don't you check on your wife she worries about you."
My wife's name was Victoria.
She was a bit thicker about ten pounds lighter than me.
Not gonna lie I like girls with some meat on them.
I walked up to her she smiled we hugged and kissed.
From the conversation we had I found out I had a daughter named Dot.
Another thing was I was a scavenger recon troop.
I would go out with a group and search for resources for the airport.
It had been three years since the airport was converted into a colony and resources around it were getting scarce.
Not only that but the airport was getting overcrowded.
But I felt this is nothing new this is my life now.
This is the world now.
I also saw my three year old daughter.
Turns out the pregnancy was an accident as Victoria said.
"I couldn't hold my load"
I felt even if Dot was an accident I still loved her.
Fun fact my cat in real life is named Dot, weird I know.
At this point in my dream I felt I can deal with this.
I woke up again went to the bathroom I had to pee. I stole a piece of string cheese out of the fridge because I'm a dick like that. laid down once again and dozed into dream land.
At the airport it was like a small town so there were a lot of different people and there were a lot of kids.
In my dream I was in my housing area minding my own business when a call for scavenger recon went over the loudspeakers.
I kissed Victoria and patted Dot on the head.
I knew that everytime they called us it could be the last time I see them.
I met up with the group it was an emergency.
It was a group of children they had wandered across the bridge into the dangerzone.
I assume the jackass gaurd fell asleep but that's beside the point.
We quickly got our gear and went searching.
This is where it gets hazy so I can't go in detail here sorry.
We tracked the children and found them but on the way back Whites attacked us.
One of the scavengers got a huge gash up his arm but no one died.
We made it home and all I remember is coming home to my family kissing my wife, and thinking,
"This is my life now it may be scary at times but as long as I have my family I have a reason to keep fighting."
That had to be one of my favourite dreams
Anyway ASFR as usual!
At least this cutie has a friend!
That's ok cause I'm with friends.
(At least here on the BBS...)
Hello all sorry about my lack of posting on the BBS.
It seems the threads on there aren't too interesting anymore, but that definently intend on staying even though I'm not a popular BBS user let alone person in general.
So life update:
Not doing to well.
I had a best friend who essentially told me to fuck off.
What I got from it was he thought I was pamperred and that I complain too much.
I'll agree that I can complain a bit but I am in no way pamperred, but whatever.
Well a few days ago I got a message from his girlfriend saying I should bury the hatchet because they needed help on their car from my dad...
You see, I think they were just using me.
To get them booze.
To get them a warm place to fuck.
Provide them entertainment.
To be a designated driver.
To let them drive my car.
I'm not so sure I want to be friends with either of them.
... They'd probably just use me.
So what do you guys think.
And as usual, heres some ASFR: